Kiss any sense of dignity goodbye

I have not yet been transferred to a rehab facility. I have been told there is nothing further they can do for me and the next phase is rehab. I am lying in a hospital bed with my two broken legs encased in braces, my left arm with the broken wrist still in a cast, and injured ribs.

I do not have much mobility. I can move my legs from side to side, wiggle my toes, move my feet, and barely lift my legs a half inch up for a few seconds. I am getting more sensation in my legs and I know I am getting better as the days go by. The upper half is fine. Rib pain has largely went away. Otherwise all I am doing is taking up space until I can be moved elsewhere.

The problem is that I need help with a lot of things. I have gained a little independence but used to need help with everything. I mean everything. I would get a meal dropped off and I used to need help with setting the meal. If I need to get cleaned up I get washed down on the bed while I am lying down and rolled on either side while your areas get washed. 

The worst is when you need to do certain other things. I have become somewhat proficient at sensing when I need a bedpan and using one. This is a skill I will cheerfully discard once this episode in my life is over. 

Being in this position has been demeaning, degrading, embarrassing, and at times humiliating. I learned to quickly roll with it and tossed any sense of dignity out the window long ago. I think every nurse on the ward has seen all of me at one time. Thankfully they have all been great.