May everyone have a Merry Christmas

This will be a Christmas that is a little different. It is the first Christmas without mom. For over a dozen years plans would be made for the family to get together for Christmas. There were various plans to get together at my place or my sister’s place and every time mom would find some way to sabotage those plans, frequently at the last minute. A couple of times my sister and I scrambled to alter plans due to mom. Most of the time I made sure to visit so she was not alone on Christmas Day and usually I brought a turkey dinner for the two of us. There were times I drove in some nasty conditions to visit so she would not be alone. On the rare times I could not make it my sister visited her.

It would drive my sister and I a little crazy as to why she would do it. We never got an answer. It would have made my sister wonderfully happy to have everyone together for Christmas. It is hard for her family to travel as they have a son with special needs. So there would have been planning to accommodate things for them. I gave up wondering why a long ago. I think she got some kind of perverse joy from it. I never bothered or harassed mom about it, some people have actions they cannot or will not explain. They are what they are.

I tried to visit mom as much as possible. She had a stroke in 2019 and never drove after. I live sixty miles away and was visiting her one, two, sometimes three times a week doing her shopping, looking after her bills, and just visiting. I kept up the pace when she moved into the retirement home in 2022. When the accident landed me in the hospital in February 2024 it took me until June of this year before I could start driving. Before I was able to start driving I had some friends and a relative drive me. My sister picked up a lot of the slack. There were times I was driving to see her every second day, and the last few weeks until she died last September it was practically daily. All that is hard on a person recovering from the injuries I had. You just do things because they are the right things to do.

Mom was not a pleasant person, more so in the remaining years. She made no friends at the retirement home. One of the residents told me when I was there to move out her things that she was not a happy person.

I will not have to worry about or accommodate her this year. Christmas will be quiet as I am still working on improving my mobility. Future years will be spent visiting friends and family. Wherever mom is I hope she found peace.

To all of you may you have a Merry Christmas and all the best.