Random post

Picked up mom’s ashes yesterday. It is a little strange to see someone reduced to a small cardboard box.

I arranged for the last of her items to be removed from her room at the retirement home. Some was given to other residents that wanted things. Her clothes were given away as well as things like pillows and blankets. It is odd what things you find. For some reason she had twenty-three bars of soap. I kept a few things and my sister claimed some items previously.

A relative, a friend, and a seventeen year old strapping guy that my relative knew and asked to help out. My relative is my cousin’s daughter who is in her forties and has a farm with her husband. The kid lives on a farm and she knows the family. She asked him to volunteer and help out. I was useless as I am still using crutches to get around.

Everything got moved out within an hour. Mom was on the fourth floor. As things were being moved I chatted with a few residents. I asked them if they liked it there. They would rather be living on their own. I can sympathize, I would rather mom lived independently but she had strokes and fell too many times. My sister and I did all we could for her and visited as much as possible. We visited more than people who lived in the same town as the retirement home.

Many years ago when I lived in Calgary, not far removed from high school, working and taking classes, there were many times I would drive up on a weekend to Drayton Valley to see my grandmother in the senior lodge and visit. It was about three hours one way. Usually I would take her out for lunch with what meagre money I had. I loved the lady. My grandmother loved the lodge, no more cooking and cleaning. There was a well stocked craft room where she made wonderful quilts and she knew everyone. I never really told anyone about my visits because I did it for me and her. My mother made it her mission to dislike the retirement home, not socialize or get involved, and be miserable. I wanted so much more for her and she made it so hard in her remaining years.

I slipped the young guy a hundred in cash before we started. During the move I heard he had a date later in the evening. I got his attention and gave him another fifty and said I knew what it was like to date with not a lot of money. He was helping me when I was in a bit of a bind and I did not mind overpaying him. I hope he and his date had a great time.

One last look at her space to check. It is odd to see it stripped bare and nothing of her remaining. I made it a point to thank the staff.