I have owned my 2025 Mazda CX-30 GX for about six weeks. In that time I made one day trip to Jasper, Alberta, some physiotherapist appointments, and nine trips to visit mom who lives an hour from me.
My most recent trip to visit mom was today. Mom is eighty-three and looking a bit frail. She is getting weaker. She gets around in a wheelchair and needs the help of two staff to get in and out of bed. Her memory is rapidly declining, today it was the worst that I have observed. She still knows who me and my sister are, however I was not quite sure she definitely knew who I was today. She does not remember what town she lives in and thinks I live in the same building.
I try to have a conversation with her, it is not easy. She tires easily and most visits come to a premature end as she easily falls asleep. I do not like to see her, or practically anyone, like this. Time gets us all.
Will she let you hold her hand?
ReplyDeleteMy mom LOVED getting foot massages.
When you were a baby you could not name your mother but you knew that you were in the presence of radiant love, sort of like an external womb. It was NOT a bad thing.
You can return that joy of human connection if she will let you.
I hold her hand and I give her a hug every visit. I call relatives on my phone and put it on speaker so she can talk to them easier.
DeleteMom was never a warm fuzzy type.
It is a tough time in life for you and your Mom. My thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeleteIt's very hard to watch a parent slip into dementia.
ReplyDeleteYes. Especially since you have no idea what to say or do. There is a lot of silence with visits.
DeleteGod bless you; God bless your mother.
ReplyDeleteIt's tough to be watching the decline. We've been through that with both sets of parents and now I see it happening with my Resident Chef (he'll be 83 next week). He's doing really well but I see him slowing down. He fell again and has been a couple weeks recovering. Luckily he didn't break anything.
ReplyDeleteread to her, play some of her favorite music. tell old stories about the family. talk about the past. where she lived what houses she lived in. repeat, repeat, repeat. don't ask too many questions.they struggle with answers. have a cookie with her. talk about her gardening or her hobby or a favorite pet or a trip she took somewhere. about her cooking or baking just dont stop going because its difficult for you.
ReplyDeleteMy mom liked it when I sang old, advertising jingles. You can find old commercials on youtube.
DeleteIf she (or you) have a photo album of pics that would be meaningful - like a favorite pet or family picnic or curling rink or ...) show her a few and ask her about them. Maybe one will spark a good story she'd like to tell.
ReplyDeleteMiss Minnie
Thankful you are able to travel! Even if she is asleep keep chatting, maybe memories, but I promise she loves to hear your voice! Went through all of this in 2022 with my mom who was 94. On her last day she seemed to be asleep the entire day. My 3 sisters and I started telling the fun funny memories our family had made. Nothing extravagant just conversation. Even with her eyes closed we could tell she was serenely calm and listening! It seemed once she knew we were going to be okay she left us. So keep reminiscing!!
ReplyDelete